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Post by shay on Oct 4, 2006 14:03:00 GMT -5
Shay looked worriedly after Alan as he exited the cave. Half of her wanted to go after him, but the other half told her he probably wanted to be alone with his thoughts. And a tiny, tiny percent of her, the one that had the mean voice and was always giving her a hard time, wanted to stay with her parents. So she continued to eat her food, watching Alan for a sign that he needed her.
When she saw that he was staying put at the cave, she let her mind wander a little. It went back to that forest. Who was that boy? Was he still looking for her? Those thoughts still plagued her mind. She couldn't ask Firestorm and Brakenfur, they had not been there that night. Though Firestorm had gotten a lot of information from other wolves, not a single wolf had been with her at the moment the boy had been there. Silver and Midnight may have known something, they always seemed to know things. But they were dead, and happy in the spirit world. But wait, hadn't Silver and Midnight come in her dream, to council her on her nightmares. Maybe she could contact them, somehow.
She was wrenched from her thoughts at a bloodcurdling howl. The last bit of meat she had had in her hand dropped to the floor, as she turned to the source of the noise. Why was Alan making such a terrible sound? Shay almost wanted to cover her ears from the pain the sound was causing her. Her whole body convulsed as she listened. Was that what Alan felt, was that what he always felt. Shay knew that Alan's life had not been a easy one, but she thought now that they...... were together she had been helping him see past the pain. But this proved that wrong. Shay, of all people should know terrible memories were not easily forgotten.
She quickly stood and walked over to Alan, until she was just a few feet from him. She stared at him with pained eyes, her arms held loosely at her sides. She had know clue what to do. Alan had a kind of injury she did not know how to heal, and it was killing her inside. She didn't even know if being here helped, maybe it only made it worse. Shay may have had a not so perfect life, but at least she had a foster mother and father who loved her. Alan never had that. Shay was everything that Alan never had.
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Post by stray on Oct 4, 2006 19:40:03 GMT -5
He struck himself across the face and hissed in pain. Covering his face he let out harbored breaths, his body visibly shaking. "Why does the past keep me from everything that is so special now? Why is it, when joy stares you in the eyes, you are constantly pulled back by the darkness that has been your only companion?" His cerulean eyes were lined with tears, but not, sad tears, more of frustration.
"I'm sorry, all of you. I'm so so sorry. I finally have people whom I can love without fear or guilt, those who are accepting of me, faults and all, and still I am a coward."
Stray looked up at the sky in the distance and sighed, turning over his shoulder to see Shay looking at him with miserable eyes. "I'm making you miserable, aren't I? I've brought out the worst in myself, and the worst in you, haven't I?" He smiled weakily and sighed, "Perhaps, I am too sad for you, my lovely Shay. I want to be someone you can rely on, not look at me with such anguish in your eyes."
He stood and approached her, and caressed the side of her face. "I do truly love you, but I do not want to be in your company if all I can do is stir the memories of a desolate and upsetting past. Unintentionally, this overwhelming joy in me, is reminding me of the darkness I crawled from. I am neither a man nor a wolf, nor do I find myself suitable to protect you in any form. I want to be your strength, whenever you need me, not when I'm not having my own horrific tantrums."
He pecked her cheek and smiled at her weakly, most of the life in his eyes gone. "I said prior, I wanted to be Alan, and not Stray. I still do. I merely fear it...will take me too long. I don't know what it'll take, and I'll travel the world to make sure I can be the best I can for you. I just, I'm sorry that I am not that man at this moment."
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Post by shay on Oct 7, 2006 14:19:34 GMT -5
Shay looked up at Alan helplessly as she felt his genital fingers brush the side of her face. She hated that look in his eye, the look that made him seem lifeless, uncaring. Was he going to leave her again? Just get up and leave........like he had the last time? At that thought Shay let out a sob and flung her arms around Alan's waist pulling him tightly to her.
She sobbed onto his bare chest, losing control of herself for a few moments. When she trusted her voice again, she whispered. "Please don't leave me, please don't leave. I can't stand the thought of losing you again. I can't, I won't be able to live through it again. It almost killed me the last time you suddenly left, I won't be able to stand it again."
Firestorm and Brakenfur stared at the two for a moment, then looked at each other, exchanging words through simple glances. If they wanted to help there pup, they would have to help this stray. Shay lifted her head up and looked at Alan, her face wet with tears. "I'll follow you. Wherever you go, however long it takes, I will follow you." A small smile appeared on her face. "Just as my father gave me the gift of Shape shifting, my mother gave me her elf gift of long life. I do not have to worry about dying of old age." She pulled back slightly so she could have a better look at him, still keeping her arms around his waist. "And when you are finally done, when you are finally satisfied with yourself, I will be there, ready." She stood up on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his, loving the warmth he spread through her.
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Post by stray on Oct 8, 2006 7:49:59 GMT -5
"You are not losing me, but I am leaving. I will not stand to be in your lovely presence when I am nothing but a dark cloud in an already stormy life," Stray told her gently, removing his hand from her face. "You are a beautiful girl, and deserve much more than I can offer. I am your companion and ally, nothing will ever change that. If you need me, I am a call away, but I can no longer stay here."
Stray backed away to the mouth of the cave and frowned. "Shay, I am meant to continue my journey as a stray. I am meant to find myself somewhere in this chaotic world. If I do, maybe I'll come back and visit you from time to time, but us as lovers, is not meant to be."
"I am a demon, a monster, as well. I will not naturally die young. So there is time, and I will visit occassionally. Stay close to Brakenfur and Firestorm, they are the best things in your life at the moment. When you find a mate, tell me, and I will meet him and be completely overjoyed for you. Miss Shay you've taught me many things that I cannot express with words."
He bowed and smiled one last time. "Thank you, for everything." The white wolf took off into the storm, not knowing when or where he would stop.
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Post by shay on Oct 8, 2006 10:55:18 GMT -5
Shay stared out into the storm for a long, long time. Her mind had gone blank, so filled with emotion that it was to much, and she had gone to feeling nothing at all. He had left, he was gone, everyone in her life just seemed to leave. At that thought, Shay let out a shout of anger and kicked a stone near her feet, launching it a great distance. She fell to her knees, anger, sadness and hurt coursing through her.
Brakenfur let out a sigh, then stood and walked over to her daughter. Honey? She said quietly, worried about how her pup was reacting. I know its hard now, but you will see him again. He just needs to find himself, and maybe someday-" Shay stood up, almost knocking into Brakenfur as she forced herself to her feet. No. Shay forced the words from her lips. The word so filled with venom that Brakenfur took a step back. Shay turned round and kicked dirt onto the fire, before picking up her things and shoving them into her pack.
"I should have listened." Shay muttered under her breath. "Should have listen, should have know better." She shoved the hide from the doe into her pack then closed it and swung it onto her back. She picked up her quiver and threw it onto her back with her things, then picked up her bow. The feel of the wood usually calmed her, but not this time. She stood up and walked of the cave, Brakenfur and Firestorm close behind. It was raining hard again, and Shay was soon completely soaked. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head toward the sky. He flashed in front of her, a brief vision swept away by the sound of thunder. She thought of Silver and Midnight, her real parents, Brakenfur and Firestorm. She loved them all, especially him. But no more.
She turned her head to the two wolves behind her. Her eyes were once again ice cold and blank. "You will leave me be." Her voice was a whisper. I want to be alone, Just go away! She turned and started running before either of them could say anything. She had always been faster then them, especially as a wolf. She pushed herself to the limit. her own heartbeat adding to the roar in her ears. She would run so fast and so far in this rain, that they would never be able to find her. Not Firestorm, not Brakenfur, not even A..........not even that stray.
((I got kind of sick of Shay being all nice and happy, so now she has a attitude and a anger problem,))
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